88 Days [Oil]

I am hungry.

89 Days [Focus]

Yup. My inspiration to shoot has been at a bottom standard for some time. However due to the onset of spring this perhaps shall change. Photography is an interesting pursuit open to enormous interpretation as it is just a function of the mind and thus depends upon the state of mind and the context in which that mind is placed and open to explore.

This image was shot during February. My spark to capture things that resembles some consistency to what I do photograph has been so out of sorts. I am not an out of sorts photographer so this dry spell is sort of annoying more than anything. However one interesting thing to note is that although I am not normally an out of sorts photographer three things always tend to boost my spark to produce a higher standard of wok.

One is extreme stress due to extreme multi tasking. Another is sadness. Great sadness. And another is people. Particular people. Guess. Some of my personal extremes experienced that produced some of my better work in ages past is not about. So there is nothing to draw on at the moment except digging perhaps a lot deeper to rediscover my spark. This is tricky.

This shot was taken right next to a fence where a stables adjoins the accommodation block of the hospital I am staying on. It was just a simple case of trying to capture a sort of bokeh but a not so of bokeh if that makes any sense.

So why focus you may ask. Well there is some strong focus in this image and also I need to focus on sleep for the next seven hours. So goodnight

90 Days [Suykee 1]

I am back in a small southern post war town. I miss Scotland! However some friends I can see again including Suykee. The above shot is one of the precious few shots that I managed to take of her. She then deletes most of them. She makes me laugh. A lot. Ha!

91 Days [Dan]

My bad. Should have uploaded this yesterday. I was busy. Extremely busy. However during the day Dan and I travelled down from Stranraer. Ya! It was a good four weeks. He and I had a lot of fun and to be honest I have developed some degree of respect for Dan. Seriously.

We had some interesting chats and debates (more me preaching my opinion) and it is a shame that he and I cannot smash out questions in the tranquillity that is Scotland. And more to the point his cooking is superb and it is going to be a while before my stomach can digest the complex ways that he mixes carbohydrate and protein and fat together ;-).

The above photograph was taken south of Manchester as be bombed it down in seven hours flat including a long stop to eat and refuel. I am tired and my rubbish laptop is playing up again. It is getting on so used to sorting it out.

92 Days [;-)

Man. What a week it has been. Tonight is my last night in Stranraer (look it up on a map). So Daniel and I are going to tear up hundreds of miles of road to get back to London tomorrow evening. At the moment he is busy cooking (as he always does) lots of good food for me to plunder and devour.

Over the past month he and I both have made systematic raids on the local Morrison's and plundered it of eggs and cheese and a lot of unhealthy eating and also some local beverage. One interesting thing to note is that the Morrison's here typifies some supermarkets in this great land of Scotland: one third of the floor space is dedicated to alcoholic beverages. Yes. One third. We did work it out one evening and got our estimates cross checked. We have eaten like Kings and eaten so much food that I am sure weight has been put on.

So therefore Daniel has been projected into the slightly obese category whilst I am still in the lean athletic camp. Daniel is roaring at me to clear the table as he has just slaved away cooking and my laptop is blocking the dining festivities from happening. Well see you later. Got to go as he is sounding like a nagging wife with every passing second ;-). Thanks for the food in advance Dan.

93 Days [Tear]

I am sad. Stressful week but also just some things have gotten to me. Two people died whom I was associated with over the past few weeks and it kinda has gotten to me.

One big part of medicine is reflective practice and learning. Scripting an emotion bound tale concerning a particular patients physiological demise is a thoroughly uncomfortable experience for me for many reasons.

First, it brings back to remembrance memories concerning the death of friends who I wish could walk through the door. I wish I could see them beaming the big smiles that used to envelope their faces. Instead they are no more merely becoming passing sands in the countless shifting sands that define the numerous ages that the Earth has seen.

Second, I myself have had some medical interventions that in another time and place if not implemented would have rendered me blind on two instances at a young age, having to endure permanent shoulder damage in another instance and certain death in one high altitude climb. I am fortunate to have had rapid medical intervention that worked in more than the above three instances. It is saddening when intervention cannot restore normal physiological functioning no matter who is at fault for the cause.

Third, the experiences that some people endure is something I cannot understand, irrespective of my experiences, as I am simply not them and privy to their emotional repertoire and personal contextual circumstances.

For confidentialities sake I cannot put down my experiences this week concerning one patient but it has stopped me in my thinking ever since. Anyway I need some sleep and to be honest need to come home.

94 Days [See]

Right. Today something good happened. A young couple discovered today that they are going to expecting a baby. I am not a baby person but I melted away due to one emotion. The young man upon hearing the certainty that his beloved Lady is going to be expecting grabbed her hand and looked across into her tear sodden face and smiled the biggest smile I have seen in a long time. He did not merely look pleased at the prospect of becoming a father but at the deeper emotion stirring warmth that the mother of his child is the woman sat next to him who he deeply loves.

That is Cool! It brought a tear to my eye. I am no where near fatherhood and to be honest due to certain relationships been left soured. However seeing that young mans face brought certain emotions of mine right back to remembrance.

I never use Photoshop. Old fashioned high minded snobbery on my part. The above is intentional. The colour took some time but it is just similar to shooting in B&W

95 Days [Fingers]

I have nothing to say today. Tired.

96 Days [Cars]

I am not well. Had a strange weekend and in some ways some painful memories have come back to remembrance. Shame. Anyway in the house I am staying up in Stranraer there are loads of miniature cars about and also lots of other interesting ornaments. Hence the car today. Unto another subject I am so bored due to being unwell and not being able to study that I am watching the Glee Club. Yes. I am pathetic ;-).

97 Days [Stranraer FC]

Football is the best sport on the planet. Fact. Easy to play by everyone and anyone. Tonight it has been nigh on impossible for me to think of anything to photograph and staggeringly difficult for me to possess enough creativity to photograph something from nothing.

It has been a dull day. Last Tuesday night however I went to watch Stranraer play Elgin. Stranraer are in Division Three of the Scottish League and the locals often ridicule their team. That did not deter me but instead gave me some impetus to see them play. It turned out to be a cracking game too.

Seeing football in real time and standing in the crowd irrespective of the standard is something that everyone should perhaps experience. It was an interesting game possessing some of the laughable mistakes that players in the lower leagues often do but also having enough of the spectacular bursts of sheer talent and enthusiasm that gets exhibited on every football pitch up and down the country.

Stranraer won the game due to a spectacular twenty five yard strike by one of their star players. I decided during the game to photograph their goalkeeper because of the sheer pressure he was under from Elgin during the first half and one superb save that he did.

Goalkeepers are alone sometimes in games where it is easy for them to fall asleep when they must maintain extremely good observation to constantly not be caught off guard. Well I need some sleep as it has been a long weekend.