Happy Sabbath Guys & Gals
No time for pleasantries. So let us cut out the mustard.
Many people consider themselevs not worthy for some particular kind of endeavour. Such can be due because they do not consider themselves experts in a chosen field. Or, that due to some impediment, they can never possess the flambouyancy of character and dynamism of a charming personality to conduct a task outside of their everyday scope to.
Such when you are a Christian should be an obsolete thought, although the constant mantra, "we are not worthy" that some of our brethren exude ad nauseam, can breed a certain backward acceptance that we can never jump to the stars, that we can never speak on numerous subjects, that due to sin we are so floored that we the better for it sticking to the pigeon holes which some mistakenly state is "Gods plan for your life", when the reverse, which is ever more beautiful, is hardly expounded often enough.
Such is due to that common human trait, regardless of persuasion, that manifests itself towards the later years of ones thrid decade in life: mental, although not intellectual wind down which accompanies supposed maturity, which is so stark to the exuberance of thought and ideas that radiates from people at the start of their third decade in life, renders the idealistic dreams and passions of youth to become empty. Such is sad.
Your parents, yes those middle aged sometimes meddlesome people, shouted aloud the eager idealism we often times fool ourselves into thinking we created for our time. What happened to them you may ask? They knuckled down - got a job, then a spouse, a mortgage and credit cards, then some children and your university debt. So of course the idealism gets lost down the drain of the complex biological ecosystem known as modern day society, and the world remains the same: people starve and die the same way and Church and the criticisms of such remain the same.
Now that Church has been mentioned you may start to wake up. Many people have grudges against certain aspects of Church. Many young people, especially those enlightened such as yourselves who are fortunate to go to university, often shake their heads in amazement at what appears to be the simple but all to common mistakes made by the Church concerning what on earth we should be about and doing for our young people. You have a point - the patronage we sometimes grant Pastors is monstrous. Some of the politics that exists and racism and prejudice and outdated thoughts and backward uneducated inspired changing methology can persuade some to moan.
Moan? C'mon how easy it is such to do from the shadows of our bedrooms and clique social circles. Coming back to being worthy every one of you is worthy. You are smart. You have ideas and you have sense (one hopes) to recognise this one simple fact: the idealism that many of you wish and seek to occur in Church and in our world is never going to happen if you yourself do not change towards such an ideal before you expect everyone else to. Of the message sent out weeks ago, only one person had the guts to step forward - how unsurprising.
Expressed another way, Ghandi, one of the most inspirational figures of the modern age, once said "be the change you want to see in the world". You be that change. You become that change. You breathe that change. You think and exist as that change. Only then does sustainable change occur.
Such is obvious, so excuse the patronising tone, but, as aforementioned, one is cutting out the mustard. It tastes bad anyway. The person who always says that they are not worthy is indeed a worthless human being who is not deserving of the talents God has given them. Remember the story? I am someone who tries his best to avoid being friends with people who criticise but can never put foot to their own ass to get on and try and do a better job.
Talents grow through trial and error but excel through wisdom. Just read the biographies of great men and women who have changed the world. They took what they had and busted their guts to see their dreams come true, which means trying out things which you are not comfortable doing. You think you work hard? Think again. If some of you wish to have a bigger impact on this world, you are going to have to work harder, no matter what you do. Stating one goes to Oxford means nothing to the starving child in the street.
There are many things you can get stuck into in our Church to make it a better place. There is a small magazine called the Hub. There are numerous other things. So is it a question of not being worthy? Or, is it a question of laziness? Only you know you, so who am I to decide - not judge, but decide.
The previous message one sent out about me considering myself not being worthy is not along the same though, though. Why you may wonder? Let me provide you with a small analogy.
If you are a stereotypical young person in Church who is asked to prepare a sermon one day on a topic which causes deep concentration from the congregation, due to the theological and philosophical complexities core to such a topic, you may, providing you are a stereotypical young person, be somewhat timid at being asked to do preach on such.
You, although having weeks to thoroughly prepare a task which you have studiously undertaken, might perhaps still feel small and timid when the big day arrives. Such is understandable as you may consider others better read and educated to expound such a theological complexity. You may thus feel embarassed to do such, and consider you being pretentious to preach on a subject you know nothing about.
But that is where you are wrong. You are wrong to assume you are not worthy, as you are worthy due to everyone being called to understand the simplicities and complexities of Scripture. Your thorough preparation alone states aloud that you are worthy, that your focus is assured and that your talents, although arguably not appropriate to the task at hand, have been used to their best to make such better. Although you may moan that you consider yourself not worthy.
That is very different to a similar young person, who possesses an intellect which if used properly can benefit many people. But, who for whatever reason, instead of diligently preparing for the sermon by studiously reading as the previous person, goes out instead to satisfy their frivilous self through whatever easy means possible, to only stroll into Church to preach a sermon, which although similar to the previous person in terms of standard, should have been of a deeper tone and understanding, courtesy of their intellect, but which is not because they have expended their talents on other things secondary to their primary objective. Whereas the previous person has.
The difference is not necessarily a waste of talent, but a loss of focus. Now you can undertand my previous message. It was not a quest to find someone more righteous than me, more theologically versed than me, more Christian than me, more Adventist than me, but to find someone who possesses a keener focus than me upon which should be our primary objective once one has the audacity to call oneself a Christian. I have lost mine to some degree, not through the complexities of life but, through a systematic presumption to do so.
You would expect any one regardless of talent who has lost focus on something to either regain that focus or, if such is beyond them at that time, to stand back and let someone else who is more focused to take over.
That is all. I know my station.
God Bless
Simon
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Waking At 4am
Hi Guys
Today when this note was written I awoke at 4am. Why? A lot is on my mind. How come? Such is the nature and joy of my life. It has always had an edge to it. Some people find it endearing. Some annoying. Some arrogant. Some humble. Whatever your sentiment towards me such does not matter. Never has done. Never will.
I awoke after not being able to sleep for two hours. My tummy was empty and the dream I had although interesting was the same dream. Do not ask. But as I stood at the window of my bedroom and breathed in the fresh night air and traced the arc of the moon across the sky various troubles just for a minute melted away into insignificance.
I am healthy. Yes some of you may know about my constant tiredness but we know what that is due to. Being switched on and never being switched off. The batteries drain. A classic illustration is that I cannot sleep for more than six hours at night. I was in bed by 10pm knowing I would be up at 4am. The bad habit of going to bed at 2am for the past three years and waking at 8am has modified my body clock. What have you been doing you may ask? To be honest that brings out nothing but sheer regret.
I am not only healthy but I am intact. I have two arms and legs and hands and feet and eyes and ears and everything else in working order. Yes including that too.
To those of you who cannot see beyond the murk of your own nose you may wonder what is the point of this note. It is 4am remember. I doubt very much that most of you could do anything at this hour unless money was involved. Cue Chris Rock.
The point is this. There are times in life when troubles and deep thoughts plague away at your mind. The more you push yourself to do then the more exposed you become and then the more to a degree you expose yourself to become slammed hard when things go wrong. Our existence to a degree is a balance between how much you are prepared to give for what return you expect to get. Most people think in that way. The basic code of self preservation.
Take medicine. How many medics would continue to do it if our maximum wage was £20000 for the rest of our lives? How many would continue if the prestige became such that a property developer would be seen as more noble? How many would continue if the constant admiration from our non-medic peers ceased? If we had to compete not just for ST posts but for FY posts on an international global market pattern which is the case in most jobs out there?
Many medics would state that they are doing medicine because they find it so interesting. Really? That the science is so good. Indeed? When you strip everything down how much of our so called noble career choices and actions would we do if the financial benefits were reduced? Think about it. Some of you on this list have never experienced poverty. So be careful with the thought that comes into your head round about now. Do not be in a hurry to say you would continue to do it. Just imagine a consultant salary at £20000. Busting your ass for just that amount of money?
Many of us do not do it for the money. Of course not? But if the extra social bells and whistles that accompanies our trade were cut out completely I wonder how many would stick. Cue GP salaries. So many of our peers now find general practice interesting. Well it should be with £100000 and a four day week and enough time to watch your little clones trot around.
Forget the bad grammar in this note. It is 4am. But as per usual this shall get posted at 5am. Why? Just went for a walk. At this hour? Yes. No one is about.
To hit this note home many of us have embarked upon careers to do something positive with our existence to make the world a better place so we say. To change the world. You then hit your early twenties and most people around you have just jumped on the bandwagon that is life. Their lives although interesting are no more interesting and have no greater impact than most people around. Just another face in another crowd on another continent.
Some though maintain that exuberance through their twenties but then get married and get bored. How interesting.Some continue their idealistic dream throughout life and change the world. Many of you on this list can change the world irrespective of your circumstance. Many comment that such is just youthful dream thinking. No substance. No direction and not realistic. Really? The sorts of people who change the world are not necessarily those who dream up new medical advances. New cancer treatments. New digital players. New clean cars. New every this and that which sustain the human desire to maintain an existence that is as pleasurable for as long as possible. Not those people.
It is simply those who are never concerned about the return they get in life but are only concerned about how much they give in life are the transformers that we never see nor hear nor even touch. Those people change the world. Cue Mother Theresa. Ten years ago Princess Diana passed away on 31st August. Remember it? It was an unforgettable day. Remember the day Mother Theresa died? Not so easy. If I wanted to pick a role model out of the two you can perhaps guess whose mine would be.
Except for a handful of doctors throughout human history from Ancient Egypt through to the present day not a single one of us medics is going to have an impact that can even be put on the same shelf as that of Mother Theresa. Cue Elizabeth Fry. Remember her?
Let us bring back the GP salaries. I am sure that most of us would agree with the reasons that many have for wanting to become a GP. But check the mindset. It perhaps would be much more interesting if someone commented that their reasons for wanting to become a GP are not necessarily for those egocentric reasons but that the significant salary increase would afford them the resources (i.e. money and time) to give more back into the community then to simply swallow money from (i.e. through that communities taxes) it to have a better standard of living.
Even if it were simply to have a higher standard of living for their children but whose objective is simply to have such to enable them to have more resources and time to encourage the people they have the greatest influence over to become humanitarians and to change the world.
Should not that be the motivation to seek a job with a huge salary? To grant you the means to put much more back into your own community so that someone else through whatever means can have another chance to reach their dreams? To use it as a means in this interconnected habitat to help better mankind? Imagine if that was the goal of everyone then would not the world be a better place?
You may think such crazy. If you do then DELETE me as a friend on Facebook. Do me a favour as that is the only reason why I am doing medicine. To treat mankind to grant that person another shot at living a fulfilling life. That is it. The pathology when you consider it is boring. Most of medicine is boring. It is an exercise in understanding the nastiest things that can go wrong to a human being and trying to fix it. Fix it? Or heal the person? Two different things.
Medicine as I have found out (shock horror) is NOT humanitarianism. This often shocks a lot of people as the noble aspirations upon entry seem childish towards graduation. If it was humanitarianism then why the pomp? The circumstance? The privilege? The indescribable kudos and social capital that medicine brings?
Remember Mother Theresa. People often state that you do not have to be a Christian to be a good person. You have got it the wrong way around. You just know the stereotype and such a comment is too predictable. Such is modern dumbed down religious studies in school by educators who do not know their left from their right.
Christianity is NOT about being a good person. It is NOT about sticking to rules and regulations. Yes there are rules and the round about emphasis on being a goody goody but such are superficialities where many small parts make up the whole bigger picture. A gestalt effect.
Christianity is NOT about being a good person nor any of the other misconceptions. If it was then Mother Theresa would be a good person and the vast majority of us would be bad people including me. That is not true though is it? It is much more than that.
In short it is to give everything you have and to expect NOTHING in return. Everything means just that. Everything. Your money. Your time. Your energy. Your house. Your clothes. Your existence. Your focus. To share.
If the world considers you a good person then so be it. If they consider you a stupid person and a bad one then so be it. Who cares to be be honest. There is NO promise which states that to be a Christian is to be a good person. So please enough of that thought.
It always amazes me when people seem shocked by such an above statement. So why are you a Christian when it has nothing about being a good person some ask? Think about it. You do not even need a faith to answer that question. Or do you?
Goodness. I am tired. I should go to my bed but wide awake. Breakfast television for me then.
God Bless
Simon
P.S. My life is that simple? Is yours?
Today when this note was written I awoke at 4am. Why? A lot is on my mind. How come? Such is the nature and joy of my life. It has always had an edge to it. Some people find it endearing. Some annoying. Some arrogant. Some humble. Whatever your sentiment towards me such does not matter. Never has done. Never will.
I awoke after not being able to sleep for two hours. My tummy was empty and the dream I had although interesting was the same dream. Do not ask. But as I stood at the window of my bedroom and breathed in the fresh night air and traced the arc of the moon across the sky various troubles just for a minute melted away into insignificance.
I am healthy. Yes some of you may know about my constant tiredness but we know what that is due to. Being switched on and never being switched off. The batteries drain. A classic illustration is that I cannot sleep for more than six hours at night. I was in bed by 10pm knowing I would be up at 4am. The bad habit of going to bed at 2am for the past three years and waking at 8am has modified my body clock. What have you been doing you may ask? To be honest that brings out nothing but sheer regret.
I am not only healthy but I am intact. I have two arms and legs and hands and feet and eyes and ears and everything else in working order. Yes including that too.
To those of you who cannot see beyond the murk of your own nose you may wonder what is the point of this note. It is 4am remember. I doubt very much that most of you could do anything at this hour unless money was involved. Cue Chris Rock.
The point is this. There are times in life when troubles and deep thoughts plague away at your mind. The more you push yourself to do then the more exposed you become and then the more to a degree you expose yourself to become slammed hard when things go wrong. Our existence to a degree is a balance between how much you are prepared to give for what return you expect to get. Most people think in that way. The basic code of self preservation.
Take medicine. How many medics would continue to do it if our maximum wage was £20000 for the rest of our lives? How many would continue if the prestige became such that a property developer would be seen as more noble? How many would continue if the constant admiration from our non-medic peers ceased? If we had to compete not just for ST posts but for FY posts on an international global market pattern which is the case in most jobs out there?
Many medics would state that they are doing medicine because they find it so interesting. Really? That the science is so good. Indeed? When you strip everything down how much of our so called noble career choices and actions would we do if the financial benefits were reduced? Think about it. Some of you on this list have never experienced poverty. So be careful with the thought that comes into your head round about now. Do not be in a hurry to say you would continue to do it. Just imagine a consultant salary at £20000. Busting your ass for just that amount of money?
Many of us do not do it for the money. Of course not? But if the extra social bells and whistles that accompanies our trade were cut out completely I wonder how many would stick. Cue GP salaries. So many of our peers now find general practice interesting. Well it should be with £100000 and a four day week and enough time to watch your little clones trot around.
Forget the bad grammar in this note. It is 4am. But as per usual this shall get posted at 5am. Why? Just went for a walk. At this hour? Yes. No one is about.
To hit this note home many of us have embarked upon careers to do something positive with our existence to make the world a better place so we say. To change the world. You then hit your early twenties and most people around you have just jumped on the bandwagon that is life. Their lives although interesting are no more interesting and have no greater impact than most people around. Just another face in another crowd on another continent.
Some though maintain that exuberance through their twenties but then get married and get bored. How interesting.Some continue their idealistic dream throughout life and change the world. Many of you on this list can change the world irrespective of your circumstance. Many comment that such is just youthful dream thinking. No substance. No direction and not realistic. Really? The sorts of people who change the world are not necessarily those who dream up new medical advances. New cancer treatments. New digital players. New clean cars. New every this and that which sustain the human desire to maintain an existence that is as pleasurable for as long as possible. Not those people.
It is simply those who are never concerned about the return they get in life but are only concerned about how much they give in life are the transformers that we never see nor hear nor even touch. Those people change the world. Cue Mother Theresa. Ten years ago Princess Diana passed away on 31st August. Remember it? It was an unforgettable day. Remember the day Mother Theresa died? Not so easy. If I wanted to pick a role model out of the two you can perhaps guess whose mine would be.
Except for a handful of doctors throughout human history from Ancient Egypt through to the present day not a single one of us medics is going to have an impact that can even be put on the same shelf as that of Mother Theresa. Cue Elizabeth Fry. Remember her?
Let us bring back the GP salaries. I am sure that most of us would agree with the reasons that many have for wanting to become a GP. But check the mindset. It perhaps would be much more interesting if someone commented that their reasons for wanting to become a GP are not necessarily for those egocentric reasons but that the significant salary increase would afford them the resources (i.e. money and time) to give more back into the community then to simply swallow money from (i.e. through that communities taxes) it to have a better standard of living.
Even if it were simply to have a higher standard of living for their children but whose objective is simply to have such to enable them to have more resources and time to encourage the people they have the greatest influence over to become humanitarians and to change the world.
Should not that be the motivation to seek a job with a huge salary? To grant you the means to put much more back into your own community so that someone else through whatever means can have another chance to reach their dreams? To use it as a means in this interconnected habitat to help better mankind? Imagine if that was the goal of everyone then would not the world be a better place?
You may think such crazy. If you do then DELETE me as a friend on Facebook. Do me a favour as that is the only reason why I am doing medicine. To treat mankind to grant that person another shot at living a fulfilling life. That is it. The pathology when you consider it is boring. Most of medicine is boring. It is an exercise in understanding the nastiest things that can go wrong to a human being and trying to fix it. Fix it? Or heal the person? Two different things.
Medicine as I have found out (shock horror) is NOT humanitarianism. This often shocks a lot of people as the noble aspirations upon entry seem childish towards graduation. If it was humanitarianism then why the pomp? The circumstance? The privilege? The indescribable kudos and social capital that medicine brings?
Remember Mother Theresa. People often state that you do not have to be a Christian to be a good person. You have got it the wrong way around. You just know the stereotype and such a comment is too predictable. Such is modern dumbed down religious studies in school by educators who do not know their left from their right.
Christianity is NOT about being a good person. It is NOT about sticking to rules and regulations. Yes there are rules and the round about emphasis on being a goody goody but such are superficialities where many small parts make up the whole bigger picture. A gestalt effect.
Christianity is NOT about being a good person nor any of the other misconceptions. If it was then Mother Theresa would be a good person and the vast majority of us would be bad people including me. That is not true though is it? It is much more than that.
In short it is to give everything you have and to expect NOTHING in return. Everything means just that. Everything. Your money. Your time. Your energy. Your house. Your clothes. Your existence. Your focus. To share.
If the world considers you a good person then so be it. If they consider you a stupid person and a bad one then so be it. Who cares to be be honest. There is NO promise which states that to be a Christian is to be a good person. So please enough of that thought.
It always amazes me when people seem shocked by such an above statement. So why are you a Christian when it has nothing about being a good person some ask? Think about it. You do not even need a faith to answer that question. Or do you?
Goodness. I am tired. I should go to my bed but wide awake. Breakfast television for me then.
God Bless
Simon
P.S. My life is that simple? Is yours?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Thoughts of a Watchman Part 3
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The human psych has been engineered to question our surroundings, and answer such questioning, through daring exploration that often becomes satisfied by a discovery that profits the discoverer. Such, occurs through numerous spheres of intra, and inter personal experience, and unbeknown to that person, to mankind, for generations.
The continual pursuit to push the human body to unknown depths of physical endurance, being underpinned by a physical, cerebral and often deeply hidden spiritual discipline, has thrust extreme challenges, once exclusive to the thoroughly experienced and for those forced to do such, to become hijacked by the other loathsome human quest, which is characterized by the want, not need, to stand out as being unique.
The explosion of numerous people participating in walks, fun runs, marathons, moors challenges, outdoor climbing, mountain expeditions and other, often absurd, methods to fundraise for a particular charity, although admirable, perhaps demonstrates the patronizing attitude that we as a culture have developed towards the great outdoors.
For me, being an amateur mountaineer, marathon runner and outdoor enthusiast, the exploitation of the outdoors, by my generation, to harvest money and astonish friends about tales of adventure and hugely exaggerated heroism, is disrespectful to the men and women who have, through often long and painful experience, become tuned to the unpredictable, predictable, nature of the outdoors. Further, such disrespects our Creator, who created such expanses of beauty for our spiritual enjoyment, not, for the massaging of egos, and the flagrant boasting, that often consumes those chasing glorification in the great outdoors. Such is, sad.
For the second time, during my long twenty five year old existence, my legs decided to carry my body around London, during that often glorified and dangerous event that is the Flora London Marathon.
My preparation, as compared to that of the previous year, was poor and not as thoughtful as it should, and could, have been. Therefore on marathon day, after a three hour conversation the night before, which granted my body and mind only two hours sleep, there was no way that one could expect to trump around the course, triumphant. So I made the wise decision to try my best and not push my body beyond what it could expect to accomplish, and certainly not push myself hard to join the names of those that lose a medal but get a dirt nap, instead.
During last years escapade around town, upon crossing the finishing line, my exclamation was one encompassing jubilation and triumph. Upon crossing the finish this time around, my roar, and what became verbalized during that roar, cannot be put down on paper–it was incredibly unchristian.
The sadness that overwhelmed me upon hearing that a young man aged only twenty two had passed away as a consequence of his efforts to finish the race, and probably due to some over zealous hydration therapy upon his admission to the emergency department, hit me hard. The reason is simple, and often humbling, for amateur athletes to understand. Such calamity can be avoided if the participant simply listens to the groans emanating from the body God has loaned to them. Such can be avoided if the person has tremendous respect for the inventor, and the invention that we see beauty in each day, by simply stopping, looking and listening to their worn body crying out for a break.
So, to summarise my marathon run, it was the second time that my legs have dragged my big head around town and unlike the joys of last year, where upon crossing the line one exclaimed that it was so easy and anybody can do it, this year the words that flew out of my mouth cannot, and must not, be written down.
It hurt a lot for these reasons. Poor preparation, compounded by the belief those twenty six miles are easier then often imagined, as one often speeds through that distance around mountains ranges, was foolish, especially as one complacently forget that such a distance through a mountain range takes a day, and not, four hours. And poor preparation, either during training, or on the day, can end someone’s existence.
You may question my often misconstrued hard thought. You may wander how someone can be so hard and show mixed compassion and sound reason. That reason, as those of you who push further and further into the realms of extreme endurance shall sadly discover, is that a huge number of mishaps, and catastrophes that besiege outdoor enthusiasts, is simply down to the explorative unquenchable human spirit to disregard clear warnings from the weather, from fancy gadgets, from intuition and more dangerously, and foolishly, from those humans more thoroughly experienced.
I am amazed, and shocked, by the scores of inexperienced people who thunder up and down mountains during the three peaks challenge. The environmental damage that such teams bring to those mountains, by showing no respect, either through ignorance of basic country codes, or presumption, by the litter that is often discarded by such, is symptomatic of the growing usage of such places of natural beauty as a mere weapon to bolster image, and rank, amongst the ever growing tribe of up and coming university educated socialites.
The mountains for me, more so than marathons, have captured my thoughts, and consequently fashioned my dreams, which only places that have been sculpted by the hand of The Almighty can produce, for years. The knowledge of mountain leadership that one has acquired has been harvested by a sound reverence for the mountains through both triumph and despair from the mountains of Wales, Scotland and the Nepalese Himalayas. It has surprised and even puzzled many friends that I have not participated in the three peaks challenge.
My constant reply has been that the three peaks challenge is the realm of the casual armchair mountaineer, who after completing such a challenge has no intention to return and absorb the grandeur of the scenery, the weather, the animals, the vegetation and the people. Nor has he any noble intention to completely understand the magnitude of the mountains by becoming a more thoughtful mountaineer. Such a journey can only be realized if one becomes a pilgrim who sojourns through many mountain ranges, during as many conceivable adverse weather conditions, as humanly possible.
Just imagine this scenario that one struggled to put on paper. The burst of energy exuding from your thoroughly sculpted musculature pushes you onwards, and upwards, through the complex cacophony of thrashing, and thunderstruck, blustery weather that has so characterized the storm that has been engulfing your body for an unknown quantity of time. Such, truly surprises you causing your previously defeated mind to extract from its base, then propel it to the surface of conscious thought, your innate desire to push through, and to triumph undefeated in the face of insurmountable odds.
Surrounding you on three sides there only exist the unseen elements, such as wind, and the seen elements, such as blinding snow for company. The scene that your eyes behold does not encourage you to think good thoughts and to dream that you can extract yourself from your precarious predicament and climb to safety.
So you struggle to focus upon the strong conglomeration of rock, snow and ice that forms the mountainside you are desperately trying to scrabble on. You kick hard, kicking your crampons, into the mountainside to maintain your grip upon the mountain, and you embed your knees, and on occasion your elbows, as you continue to dig into the mountain using huge thrashing arm swings to enable you to climb higher and higher to safety, using the axe, whose correct use, can haul you out.
The tragic opera, that through pomp and circumstance has decided for you to become the operatic tenor, thrashes out, through its primary instrument, air, which has become a tumultuous gale, continues to smash your body upon the rocks one moment, then outwards towards the gaping emptiness of the Lhotse face, and the vertical nothingness that exists if one should be blown out towards such. It loudly declares that you cannot escape your death.
Your thoughts begin to crumble from being strong, as proven under numerous extreme circumstances you have subjected them to before, to being disordered and unrecognizable. Such disorganization teams up with the bad weather to confuse you further. Such transforms your reputed climbing prowess to that often attributed to the weekender geriatric mountaineer, so mush so, that your muscles respond haphazardly to whatever coherent thoughts you combine to form a measured command. Compounding the problem, by fueling, and then exacerbating the randomness of thought that rampages through your head, is the oxygen deprivation that only grants some people right of passage through that section of cool real estate known to climbers as the Death Zone.
Slowly, your ice axe, after pounding the mountainside, glances across the openness that you have managed to climb out upon. Slowly, after some effort to stand, your crampons crunch deep in the ice laden edges of the plateau, that only moments ago you, before stumbling over the edge, were desperately trying to navigate through. Slowly, your eyes acclimatize to your surroundings and you try to get a fix on your position, using whatever landmarks you can sort out, then identify, amidst the swirling clouds of snow that is spattering your face during a ferociously frozen, and black, night.
You cautiously wander towards what you make out to be the bodies of your climbing party, who, after becoming separated from each other during the confusion upon descending the mountain, and subsequently depleting their oxygen, and their life force, out of the canisters they were carrying, have become hypoxic and dangerously disoriented, and to your shocked eye lay scattered across an exposed section of the plateau.
Upon examination, to your utter sadness, you discover that every member of your climbing party has lapsed into unconsciousness, and because the Death Zone declares through its unique geographical position that every man must truly help himself, you know they are as good as dead.
Such a scenario, to some of you, may appear exaggerated, even dramatized. If you are such, do many mountaineers a great help, by staying out of mountain ranges. Such, happens. Such, continues to happen, and often those that get caught out are those that do not respect the mountains, being bent instead on fame and success, not necessarily a pure desire to appreciate the mountain, and mountaineering more.
I would encourage everyone to engage in the pursuits that once belonged to a preserve group of people. My recommendation is for people to become tuned out of the sinful pursuit of making a great name for oneself, or the wobbly ambition to become the topic of conversation amongst members of the opposite sex, family, friends and numerous others, but that you become focused, and through such focusing start to understand the greater philosophical reasoning that the greatest climbers, mountaineers, runners and swimmers have yielded to, which has enabled them to push back the boundaries even further.
Such thought, is often not directly attributable to the core principles of Christianity, but such forces the person to acknowledge that the universe does not revolve around them, and that something does, and must, exist to make sense out of our wonderment at such tremendous feats of human endurance. They may not know the source, but you and I do. For me that is the most valuable lesson that the outdoors teaches me. God exists. Case closed.
End Thought: I would encourage everyone to do a marathon at least once. It, for some, can be truly life changing, and propel people to change themselves. Such is great, but you do not need to run marathons and climb mountains to transform yourself. That often under used, abused and misquoted book, The Bible, can do that for you. Go ahead, read it.
About Me (in case you did not know): During the summer my legs plan to conduct fast dashes through and over some truly secluded parts of the country. If you wish to join me please contact me through the editor. You must be healthy and able to carry loads for twelve hours a day. You must have good mountain craft knowledge too. To gain an insight into some truly awe inspiring mountain experiences please read: Death Zone by Matt Dickenson and The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev and G. Weston DeWalt.
The continual pursuit to push the human body to unknown depths of physical endurance, being underpinned by a physical, cerebral and often deeply hidden spiritual discipline, has thrust extreme challenges, once exclusive to the thoroughly experienced and for those forced to do such, to become hijacked by the other loathsome human quest, which is characterized by the want, not need, to stand out as being unique.
The explosion of numerous people participating in walks, fun runs, marathons, moors challenges, outdoor climbing, mountain expeditions and other, often absurd, methods to fundraise for a particular charity, although admirable, perhaps demonstrates the patronizing attitude that we as a culture have developed towards the great outdoors.
For me, being an amateur mountaineer, marathon runner and outdoor enthusiast, the exploitation of the outdoors, by my generation, to harvest money and astonish friends about tales of adventure and hugely exaggerated heroism, is disrespectful to the men and women who have, through often long and painful experience, become tuned to the unpredictable, predictable, nature of the outdoors. Further, such disrespects our Creator, who created such expanses of beauty for our spiritual enjoyment, not, for the massaging of egos, and the flagrant boasting, that often consumes those chasing glorification in the great outdoors. Such is, sad.
For the second time, during my long twenty five year old existence, my legs decided to carry my body around London, during that often glorified and dangerous event that is the Flora London Marathon.
My preparation, as compared to that of the previous year, was poor and not as thoughtful as it should, and could, have been. Therefore on marathon day, after a three hour conversation the night before, which granted my body and mind only two hours sleep, there was no way that one could expect to trump around the course, triumphant. So I made the wise decision to try my best and not push my body beyond what it could expect to accomplish, and certainly not push myself hard to join the names of those that lose a medal but get a dirt nap, instead.
During last years escapade around town, upon crossing the finishing line, my exclamation was one encompassing jubilation and triumph. Upon crossing the finish this time around, my roar, and what became verbalized during that roar, cannot be put down on paper–it was incredibly unchristian.
The sadness that overwhelmed me upon hearing that a young man aged only twenty two had passed away as a consequence of his efforts to finish the race, and probably due to some over zealous hydration therapy upon his admission to the emergency department, hit me hard. The reason is simple, and often humbling, for amateur athletes to understand. Such calamity can be avoided if the participant simply listens to the groans emanating from the body God has loaned to them. Such can be avoided if the person has tremendous respect for the inventor, and the invention that we see beauty in each day, by simply stopping, looking and listening to their worn body crying out for a break.
So, to summarise my marathon run, it was the second time that my legs have dragged my big head around town and unlike the joys of last year, where upon crossing the line one exclaimed that it was so easy and anybody can do it, this year the words that flew out of my mouth cannot, and must not, be written down.
It hurt a lot for these reasons. Poor preparation, compounded by the belief those twenty six miles are easier then often imagined, as one often speeds through that distance around mountains ranges, was foolish, especially as one complacently forget that such a distance through a mountain range takes a day, and not, four hours. And poor preparation, either during training, or on the day, can end someone’s existence.
You may question my often misconstrued hard thought. You may wander how someone can be so hard and show mixed compassion and sound reason. That reason, as those of you who push further and further into the realms of extreme endurance shall sadly discover, is that a huge number of mishaps, and catastrophes that besiege outdoor enthusiasts, is simply down to the explorative unquenchable human spirit to disregard clear warnings from the weather, from fancy gadgets, from intuition and more dangerously, and foolishly, from those humans more thoroughly experienced.
I am amazed, and shocked, by the scores of inexperienced people who thunder up and down mountains during the three peaks challenge. The environmental damage that such teams bring to those mountains, by showing no respect, either through ignorance of basic country codes, or presumption, by the litter that is often discarded by such, is symptomatic of the growing usage of such places of natural beauty as a mere weapon to bolster image, and rank, amongst the ever growing tribe of up and coming university educated socialites.
The mountains for me, more so than marathons, have captured my thoughts, and consequently fashioned my dreams, which only places that have been sculpted by the hand of The Almighty can produce, for years. The knowledge of mountain leadership that one has acquired has been harvested by a sound reverence for the mountains through both triumph and despair from the mountains of Wales, Scotland and the Nepalese Himalayas. It has surprised and even puzzled many friends that I have not participated in the three peaks challenge.
My constant reply has been that the three peaks challenge is the realm of the casual armchair mountaineer, who after completing such a challenge has no intention to return and absorb the grandeur of the scenery, the weather, the animals, the vegetation and the people. Nor has he any noble intention to completely understand the magnitude of the mountains by becoming a more thoughtful mountaineer. Such a journey can only be realized if one becomes a pilgrim who sojourns through many mountain ranges, during as many conceivable adverse weather conditions, as humanly possible.
Just imagine this scenario that one struggled to put on paper. The burst of energy exuding from your thoroughly sculpted musculature pushes you onwards, and upwards, through the complex cacophony of thrashing, and thunderstruck, blustery weather that has so characterized the storm that has been engulfing your body for an unknown quantity of time. Such, truly surprises you causing your previously defeated mind to extract from its base, then propel it to the surface of conscious thought, your innate desire to push through, and to triumph undefeated in the face of insurmountable odds.
Surrounding you on three sides there only exist the unseen elements, such as wind, and the seen elements, such as blinding snow for company. The scene that your eyes behold does not encourage you to think good thoughts and to dream that you can extract yourself from your precarious predicament and climb to safety.
So you struggle to focus upon the strong conglomeration of rock, snow and ice that forms the mountainside you are desperately trying to scrabble on. You kick hard, kicking your crampons, into the mountainside to maintain your grip upon the mountain, and you embed your knees, and on occasion your elbows, as you continue to dig into the mountain using huge thrashing arm swings to enable you to climb higher and higher to safety, using the axe, whose correct use, can haul you out.
The tragic opera, that through pomp and circumstance has decided for you to become the operatic tenor, thrashes out, through its primary instrument, air, which has become a tumultuous gale, continues to smash your body upon the rocks one moment, then outwards towards the gaping emptiness of the Lhotse face, and the vertical nothingness that exists if one should be blown out towards such. It loudly declares that you cannot escape your death.
Your thoughts begin to crumble from being strong, as proven under numerous extreme circumstances you have subjected them to before, to being disordered and unrecognizable. Such disorganization teams up with the bad weather to confuse you further. Such transforms your reputed climbing prowess to that often attributed to the weekender geriatric mountaineer, so mush so, that your muscles respond haphazardly to whatever coherent thoughts you combine to form a measured command. Compounding the problem, by fueling, and then exacerbating the randomness of thought that rampages through your head, is the oxygen deprivation that only grants some people right of passage through that section of cool real estate known to climbers as the Death Zone.
Slowly, your ice axe, after pounding the mountainside, glances across the openness that you have managed to climb out upon. Slowly, after some effort to stand, your crampons crunch deep in the ice laden edges of the plateau, that only moments ago you, before stumbling over the edge, were desperately trying to navigate through. Slowly, your eyes acclimatize to your surroundings and you try to get a fix on your position, using whatever landmarks you can sort out, then identify, amidst the swirling clouds of snow that is spattering your face during a ferociously frozen, and black, night.
You cautiously wander towards what you make out to be the bodies of your climbing party, who, after becoming separated from each other during the confusion upon descending the mountain, and subsequently depleting their oxygen, and their life force, out of the canisters they were carrying, have become hypoxic and dangerously disoriented, and to your shocked eye lay scattered across an exposed section of the plateau.
Upon examination, to your utter sadness, you discover that every member of your climbing party has lapsed into unconsciousness, and because the Death Zone declares through its unique geographical position that every man must truly help himself, you know they are as good as dead.
Such a scenario, to some of you, may appear exaggerated, even dramatized. If you are such, do many mountaineers a great help, by staying out of mountain ranges. Such, happens. Such, continues to happen, and often those that get caught out are those that do not respect the mountains, being bent instead on fame and success, not necessarily a pure desire to appreciate the mountain, and mountaineering more.
I would encourage everyone to engage in the pursuits that once belonged to a preserve group of people. My recommendation is for people to become tuned out of the sinful pursuit of making a great name for oneself, or the wobbly ambition to become the topic of conversation amongst members of the opposite sex, family, friends and numerous others, but that you become focused, and through such focusing start to understand the greater philosophical reasoning that the greatest climbers, mountaineers, runners and swimmers have yielded to, which has enabled them to push back the boundaries even further.
Such thought, is often not directly attributable to the core principles of Christianity, but such forces the person to acknowledge that the universe does not revolve around them, and that something does, and must, exist to make sense out of our wonderment at such tremendous feats of human endurance. They may not know the source, but you and I do. For me that is the most valuable lesson that the outdoors teaches me. God exists. Case closed.
End Thought: I would encourage everyone to do a marathon at least once. It, for some, can be truly life changing, and propel people to change themselves. Such is great, but you do not need to run marathons and climb mountains to transform yourself. That often under used, abused and misquoted book, The Bible, can do that for you. Go ahead, read it.
About Me (in case you did not know): During the summer my legs plan to conduct fast dashes through and over some truly secluded parts of the country. If you wish to join me please contact me through the editor. You must be healthy and able to carry loads for twelve hours a day. You must have good mountain craft knowledge too. To gain an insight into some truly awe inspiring mountain experiences please read: Death Zone by Matt Dickenson and The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev and G. Weston DeWalt.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Smile
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Good Morning
Something simple happened recently. I managed to sort out my pictures taken in Peru. It has been four months and at last they are sorted to be seen by my friends.
Regards
HMS
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Revision
Good Evening
It is that time again, the time when my mind becomes anxious, when my body aches due to sleep deprivation and when my thoughts become so academic that is scares those non-academic neurons in my head. I am not describing the often pleasant scenario of me about to plummet off a mountain, or to watch Liverpool play a fantastic make of the beautiful game, but alas my examinations coming upon me with the impending doom of sense that hits most politicians that possess a conscience.
I am anxious, due to personal complacency, but also because of my stubborn, and often ridiculous aptitude to push myself to daft extremes of both physical and mental exhaustion. I am running the Flora London Marathon 2007 this Sunday - the day before the serious batch of examinations - and the intensity of thought that is rampaging throughout my cranial vault is terrifying!
Most "normal" people pace themselves to focus upon one serious conquest at a time. Not me! I, through a somewhat bizarre "gamble" on my existence, prefer to concentrate on many divergently serious pursuits simultaneously. Why you may ask? The answer is simply because that one day I am not going to have the opportunity to test myself across so many spectra (i.e. magazine editor; marathon runner; students' union president; mountaineer; freelance photographer; serial columnist for numerous publications; preacher) to gradually, and painstakingly, force myself into developing a strong structure which is resilient to the stresses and strains that so many high end pursuits can bring upon someone. In other words I am simply forcing myself to significantly raise the threshold where one can crack under pressure.
To do so many things, and still walk around smiling, demonstrates either a heightened state of fortitude, or a mind seriously gone wrong. My guess is the former, but I do understand the boundaries and where the mind can crack when placed under what is essentially a scientific experimention, but highly unnecessary amount of strain, which in this hard life one perhaps may not need.
However, my life is ever colourful because of it. My next post perhaps shall be after my examinations. Who knows! I am just going to do my best considering that my body is going to be battered after that marathon on Sunday.
Regards
HMS
It is that time again, the time when my mind becomes anxious, when my body aches due to sleep deprivation and when my thoughts become so academic that is scares those non-academic neurons in my head. I am not describing the often pleasant scenario of me about to plummet off a mountain, or to watch Liverpool play a fantastic make of the beautiful game, but alas my examinations coming upon me with the impending doom of sense that hits most politicians that possess a conscience.
I am anxious, due to personal complacency, but also because of my stubborn, and often ridiculous aptitude to push myself to daft extremes of both physical and mental exhaustion. I am running the Flora London Marathon 2007 this Sunday - the day before the serious batch of examinations - and the intensity of thought that is rampaging throughout my cranial vault is terrifying!
Most "normal" people pace themselves to focus upon one serious conquest at a time. Not me! I, through a somewhat bizarre "gamble" on my existence, prefer to concentrate on many divergently serious pursuits simultaneously. Why you may ask? The answer is simply because that one day I am not going to have the opportunity to test myself across so many spectra (i.e. magazine editor; marathon runner; students' union president; mountaineer; freelance photographer; serial columnist for numerous publications; preacher) to gradually, and painstakingly, force myself into developing a strong structure which is resilient to the stresses and strains that so many high end pursuits can bring upon someone. In other words I am simply forcing myself to significantly raise the threshold where one can crack under pressure.
To do so many things, and still walk around smiling, demonstrates either a heightened state of fortitude, or a mind seriously gone wrong. My guess is the former, but I do understand the boundaries and where the mind can crack when placed under what is essentially a scientific experimention, but highly unnecessary amount of strain, which in this hard life one perhaps may not need.
However, my life is ever colourful because of it. My next post perhaps shall be after my examinations. Who knows! I am just going to do my best considering that my body is going to be battered after that marathon on Sunday.
Regards
HMS
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Work
Good Afternoon
The preoccupation of my day has been updating the website for my medical school magazine. I am the editor and it was about time that the site was updated.
Go and have a look. It is basic at the moment but it shall improve gradually. The end point is eighteen months away for it to improve by.
Regards
HMS
The preoccupation of my day has been updating the website for my medical school magazine. I am the editor and it was about time that the site was updated.
Go and have a look. It is basic at the moment but it shall improve gradually. The end point is eighteen months away for it to improve by.
Regards
HMS
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Three Hundred
Good Evening
There are circumstances and situations which can shape our future. They often come from unexpected sources and from friends and strangers we would least consider to possess such sway on us.
This evening a certain film has moved me. It has a primitive script and basic acting but the ideal it represents is something that any straight thinking person should understand-core values.
It is a very good film and one that is going to occupy a spot amongst the numerous films that compile my cinematic collection-when the extended DVD version comes out!
Regards
HMS
Friday, April 06, 2007
Preparation
Good Evening
Today has been a good day. I have been able to relax properly, as opposed to the rushed relaxation that normally comes me way, too often. The sun has been shining, and has brought warmth, as it always does, to brighten up a dreary day, but in this case to heighten the prolonged state of relaxation.
It is getting on this evening, but tomorrow I am preaching a sermon at a Seventh Day Adventist Church in Surrey. The history of this appointment is that due to me preaching at the Wimbleon Seventh Day Adventist Church back in February, some youth leaders from the Horley Seventh Day Adventist Church granted me an invitation to come and preach to them, this Sabbath, on health. This is not particularly a tricky subject to preach on, if you belong to the medical profession, but the scope of health, once thrown against the backdrop of a Christian philosophy-perhaps ideology-can become difficult to convey.
The reason for such difficulty, is that health, once seen through a Judeo-Christian context, becomes a lot more than the simple matter of how many portions of fruit to eat, and how many glasses of water to drink per day. It becomes a matter that whatever you do to your body, ranging from food consumption, to the sort of music you listen to, can affect your body through the physical, mental and therefore spiritual dimensions that construct our being.
The simple truth is that health for the Christian encompasses the Biblical statement that your body is the Temple of The Holy Spirit, and if such is the case, which every person who claims to be a Christian should believe, and proclaim, than the way you look after your body, can reflect your personal relationship with the Creator.
That is the simple truth. It is time for me to go back to the thinking board and plan tomorrows sermon in greater detail.
Regards
HMS
Today has been a good day. I have been able to relax properly, as opposed to the rushed relaxation that normally comes me way, too often. The sun has been shining, and has brought warmth, as it always does, to brighten up a dreary day, but in this case to heighten the prolonged state of relaxation.
It is getting on this evening, but tomorrow I am preaching a sermon at a Seventh Day Adventist Church in Surrey. The history of this appointment is that due to me preaching at the Wimbleon Seventh Day Adventist Church back in February, some youth leaders from the Horley Seventh Day Adventist Church granted me an invitation to come and preach to them, this Sabbath, on health. This is not particularly a tricky subject to preach on, if you belong to the medical profession, but the scope of health, once thrown against the backdrop of a Christian philosophy-perhaps ideology-can become difficult to convey.
The reason for such difficulty, is that health, once seen through a Judeo-Christian context, becomes a lot more than the simple matter of how many portions of fruit to eat, and how many glasses of water to drink per day. It becomes a matter that whatever you do to your body, ranging from food consumption, to the sort of music you listen to, can affect your body through the physical, mental and therefore spiritual dimensions that construct our being.
The simple truth is that health for the Christian encompasses the Biblical statement that your body is the Temple of The Holy Spirit, and if such is the case, which every person who claims to be a Christian should believe, and proclaim, than the way you look after your body, can reflect your personal relationship with the Creator.
That is the simple truth. It is time for me to go back to the thinking board and plan tomorrows sermon in greater detail.
Regards
HMS
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Today 1
Good Evening
Today was an unusual day, simply because tiredness became my companion so it seems, throughout the course of the day.
So much so that this blog, composed late during the evening, is just a ramble about the most annoying aspect of my day; tiredness. Perhaps tomorrow, something of interest might be scrawled up for this blog.
Regards
HMS
Today was an unusual day, simply because tiredness became my companion so it seems, throughout the course of the day.
So much so that this blog, composed late during the evening, is just a ramble about the most annoying aspect of my day; tiredness. Perhaps tomorrow, something of interest might be scrawled up for this blog.
Regards
HMS
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Introduction
Good Evening
This, my first proper online blog entry, has no particular inspiration, nor any particular goal, but perhaps is best described as a means to simply communicate my thoughts to whoever wishes to read them. That is, of course, the nature of online blogging-to permit untold others around the globe to take a glimpse into our world, without the need to sit next to us to participate in a discussion, nor to hear us on the phone.
So this is it, my grand introduction. As to who would read this blog, who knows. As to who would comment on this blog, and suggest topics for one to comment upon, and to recommend a course of thought throughout the blogs then the author is open to such.
Until then though, and my next entry, enjoy your evening.
Regards
HMS
This, my first proper online blog entry, has no particular inspiration, nor any particular goal, but perhaps is best described as a means to simply communicate my thoughts to whoever wishes to read them. That is, of course, the nature of online blogging-to permit untold others around the globe to take a glimpse into our world, without the need to sit next to us to participate in a discussion, nor to hear us on the phone.
So this is it, my grand introduction. As to who would read this blog, who knows. As to who would comment on this blog, and suggest topics for one to comment upon, and to recommend a course of thought throughout the blogs then the author is open to such.
Until then though, and my next entry, enjoy your evening.
Regards
HMS
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