88 Days [Oil]

I am hungry.

89 Days [Focus]

Yup. My inspiration to shoot has been at a bottom standard for some time. However due to the onset of spring this perhaps shall change. Photography is an interesting pursuit open to enormous interpretation as it is just a function of the mind and thus depends upon the state of mind and the context in which that mind is placed and open to explore.

This image was shot during February. My spark to capture things that resembles some consistency to what I do photograph has been so out of sorts. I am not an out of sorts photographer so this dry spell is sort of annoying more than anything. However one interesting thing to note is that although I am not normally an out of sorts photographer three things always tend to boost my spark to produce a higher standard of wok.

One is extreme stress due to extreme multi tasking. Another is sadness. Great sadness. And another is people. Particular people. Guess. Some of my personal extremes experienced that produced some of my better work in ages past is not about. So there is nothing to draw on at the moment except digging perhaps a lot deeper to rediscover my spark. This is tricky.

This shot was taken right next to a fence where a stables adjoins the accommodation block of the hospital I am staying on. It was just a simple case of trying to capture a sort of bokeh but a not so of bokeh if that makes any sense.

So why focus you may ask. Well there is some strong focus in this image and also I need to focus on sleep for the next seven hours. So goodnight

90 Days [Suykee 1]

I am back in a small southern post war town. I miss Scotland! However some friends I can see again including Suykee. The above shot is one of the precious few shots that I managed to take of her. She then deletes most of them. She makes me laugh. A lot. Ha!

91 Days [Dan]

My bad. Should have uploaded this yesterday. I was busy. Extremely busy. However during the day Dan and I travelled down from Stranraer. Ya! It was a good four weeks. He and I had a lot of fun and to be honest I have developed some degree of respect for Dan. Seriously.

We had some interesting chats and debates (more me preaching my opinion) and it is a shame that he and I cannot smash out questions in the tranquillity that is Scotland. And more to the point his cooking is superb and it is going to be a while before my stomach can digest the complex ways that he mixes carbohydrate and protein and fat together ;-).

The above photograph was taken south of Manchester as be bombed it down in seven hours flat including a long stop to eat and refuel. I am tired and my rubbish laptop is playing up again. It is getting on so used to sorting it out.

92 Days [;-)

Man. What a week it has been. Tonight is my last night in Stranraer (look it up on a map). So Daniel and I are going to tear up hundreds of miles of road to get back to London tomorrow evening. At the moment he is busy cooking (as he always does) lots of good food for me to plunder and devour.

Over the past month he and I both have made systematic raids on the local Morrison's and plundered it of eggs and cheese and a lot of unhealthy eating and also some local beverage. One interesting thing to note is that the Morrison's here typifies some supermarkets in this great land of Scotland: one third of the floor space is dedicated to alcoholic beverages. Yes. One third. We did work it out one evening and got our estimates cross checked. We have eaten like Kings and eaten so much food that I am sure weight has been put on.

So therefore Daniel has been projected into the slightly obese category whilst I am still in the lean athletic camp. Daniel is roaring at me to clear the table as he has just slaved away cooking and my laptop is blocking the dining festivities from happening. Well see you later. Got to go as he is sounding like a nagging wife with every passing second ;-). Thanks for the food in advance Dan.

93 Days [Tear]

I am sad. Stressful week but also just some things have gotten to me. Two people died whom I was associated with over the past few weeks and it kinda has gotten to me.

One big part of medicine is reflective practice and learning. Scripting an emotion bound tale concerning a particular patients physiological demise is a thoroughly uncomfortable experience for me for many reasons.

First, it brings back to remembrance memories concerning the death of friends who I wish could walk through the door. I wish I could see them beaming the big smiles that used to envelope their faces. Instead they are no more merely becoming passing sands in the countless shifting sands that define the numerous ages that the Earth has seen.

Second, I myself have had some medical interventions that in another time and place if not implemented would have rendered me blind on two instances at a young age, having to endure permanent shoulder damage in another instance and certain death in one high altitude climb. I am fortunate to have had rapid medical intervention that worked in more than the above three instances. It is saddening when intervention cannot restore normal physiological functioning no matter who is at fault for the cause.

Third, the experiences that some people endure is something I cannot understand, irrespective of my experiences, as I am simply not them and privy to their emotional repertoire and personal contextual circumstances.

For confidentialities sake I cannot put down my experiences this week concerning one patient but it has stopped me in my thinking ever since. Anyway I need some sleep and to be honest need to come home.

94 Days [See]

Right. Today something good happened. A young couple discovered today that they are going to expecting a baby. I am not a baby person but I melted away due to one emotion. The young man upon hearing the certainty that his beloved Lady is going to be expecting grabbed her hand and looked across into her tear sodden face and smiled the biggest smile I have seen in a long time. He did not merely look pleased at the prospect of becoming a father but at the deeper emotion stirring warmth that the mother of his child is the woman sat next to him who he deeply loves.

That is Cool! It brought a tear to my eye. I am no where near fatherhood and to be honest due to certain relationships been left soured. However seeing that young mans face brought certain emotions of mine right back to remembrance.

I never use Photoshop. Old fashioned high minded snobbery on my part. The above is intentional. The colour took some time but it is just similar to shooting in B&W

95 Days [Fingers]

I have nothing to say today. Tired.

96 Days [Cars]

I am not well. Had a strange weekend and in some ways some painful memories have come back to remembrance. Shame. Anyway in the house I am staying up in Stranraer there are loads of miniature cars about and also lots of other interesting ornaments. Hence the car today. Unto another subject I am so bored due to being unwell and not being able to study that I am watching the Glee Club. Yes. I am pathetic ;-).

97 Days [Stranraer FC]

Football is the best sport on the planet. Fact. Easy to play by everyone and anyone. Tonight it has been nigh on impossible for me to think of anything to photograph and staggeringly difficult for me to possess enough creativity to photograph something from nothing.

It has been a dull day. Last Tuesday night however I went to watch Stranraer play Elgin. Stranraer are in Division Three of the Scottish League and the locals often ridicule their team. That did not deter me but instead gave me some impetus to see them play. It turned out to be a cracking game too.

Seeing football in real time and standing in the crowd irrespective of the standard is something that everyone should perhaps experience. It was an interesting game possessing some of the laughable mistakes that players in the lower leagues often do but also having enough of the spectacular bursts of sheer talent and enthusiasm that gets exhibited on every football pitch up and down the country.

Stranraer won the game due to a spectacular twenty five yard strike by one of their star players. I decided during the game to photograph their goalkeeper because of the sheer pressure he was under from Elgin during the first half and one superb save that he did.

Goalkeepers are alone sometimes in games where it is easy for them to fall asleep when they must maintain extremely good observation to constantly not be caught off guard. Well I need some sleep as it has been a long weekend.

98 Days [Guinness]

I am in Ireland for a while. Ireland is defined by one particularity which is Guinness. It is fortified in numerous minerals especially iron and was once recommended for patients who had cardiac pathology due to the good content of iron in it. Seriously. If used today it would have to be prescribed.

99 Days [Grey Horses]

The above photograph is of a lake in the Scottish lowlands near the town of Stranraer. I had gone on a nice long horse ride today. Horses are beautiful creatures and it is always a wonder for me to know that between my legs is over half a ton of powerful muscle.

Many people tend to be ignorant about horses and the surrounding social environment in which they are often projected in the media. Some assume you must be wealthy when you do not have to be and a posh personage. Learning to mountaineer and taking regular trips is more expensive as you progress and to a huge degree particularly in British mountaineering more posh and elitist.

Horses do attract people from many paths and backgrounds. Another misconception is that it is for girls and this is simply one of the most laughable and contributes to the fact that the majority of horse riders you see in the countryside are women. Strangely enough the most successful horse riders (e.g. jockeys) are men. Just take a stroll to your nearest stables to discover the wonders that exist in this often poorly understood world.

In short though many people laugh towards the those that pursue horse riding they themselves secretly wish they could have the muster and indeed skill it takes to be familiar around these creatures and ride them at great speed. Just watch a classic western and each time the hero and heroin mount a horse and speed away a small part of you wishes you could do the same.

Well it is time for some foodage. Well more foodage as just munched through half a loaf of bread. As my Parents always said, I do eat like a horse ;-)

100 Days [Mum]

I did not upload a proper photograph for Mothers Day on Sunday. So in the early hours of this morning decided to photograph something interesting. It is cloudy today so that means some interesting perspectives later today. Maybe. There is some book work to be done. A lot.

101 Days [Cadbury's]

Cadbury's has become the latest big name British industrial institution to be conquered by a larger more dominant force in the world that is globalisation. Pity.

It has made some of the most memorable chocolate bars and other delicious things that have graced the stomachs of many a British school child during those mid morning break times and after school snacks. The Flake bar has been one of high end luxury that the brand managed to market to a staggeringly successful degree with its novel and provocative television commercials during the late '80s and early '90s.

It is lunch time at the moment for me and my morning has been an interesting one. The cup was photographed earlier this morning when I got in early to relax and savour the aroma and taste of my favourite warm drink before the day began. I am going out to purchase some healthy delicious food. Namely it shall involve some potato and also some fish. Fresh fish ;-).

Many people regard the dominance of the American food industry and other aspects of American endeavour as too over powering relegating their thought and common sense to that of the envious child whenever an American company takes over a British institution.

For me America has taken whatever else the world produces and made it much much better in more than a number of situations. For example Britain invented the computer but the Americans produced Microsoft and also Apple. So I am optimistic that in time the American enthused ingenuity that runs throughout the Kraft Company shall produce chocolate that would have made Willy Wonker jealous

102 Days [Fold]

I took this shot tonight during a late night study session. My room wherever I go happens to be littered with numerous things to unleash my thoughts.

The above is nothing extraordinary. Of nothing that stands out but is just a simple photograph of a simple object that is easy to make and is manufactured in the thousands today. It is an adaptation on the legendary notepad that has been called the Moleskin.

Unfortunately I have nothing significant to put down here as I am tired and it is time for bed. I have no clue what is going to unfold over this coming day. However one thought that is on my mind is the thought of friendship. Not friendship to people. That other thought is for another day. Friendship for me comes from many things. Not just people.

Over the coming course of this unspecified countdown you shall discover a small opening into my world concerning the many friends depending on the context that I do possess. Sod it. I need a good old ramble.

Folding happens to everyone at some point and you often expect your friends to be there to catch you. Often times those ridiculous creatures who boast aloud that they are so close to you and the worlds best friend you could ever have often too quickly disappear through sheer convenience when things go to rubbish.

I have often times refused to depend on friends for an enormity of things often discovering as a good number of us do that the humans that help you through a crisis are those that often times do not boast aloud their friendship of you. The ones that remain quiet in the background during the good times but who mysteriously develop the knack to understand and help you out when the bad times rock towards you.

Those people are priceless and I am thankful to have more than a good number that I am acquainted with.

I often find solace in books and reading and through being surrounded and engaged in everything to do concerning books. Books are timeless and their timeless nature reminds me of those precious people whose friendships through the difficult times are timeless and never to be forgotten.

Oh for the record if anyone thinks I am having a me against the world ramble do yourself a favour by opening a window and throwing yourself out.

Goodnight. Good morning depending where you are.

103 Days [Tea Time]

I am on a tea break at the general practice I am attached to at the moment. So I decided to take a quick shot of one of the ginger nuts that is my contribution to the food.

I am attached at the moment to a beautiful general practice in the Scottish Borders. The place is Stranraer. I love Scotland. A lot! I relish the sheer contrasts that you get in this enormous and underpopulated country that has had a disproportionate enormous impact on the history of the United Kingdom per head of population than any of the other three countries that constitute the Kingdom.

The doctors here are extremely good and thorough. I cannot stand medicine in London as I cannot stand cities. However being up here is thoroughly refreshing. The close personal approach and sheer professionalism that sticks to the old fashioned yet tender kind ways that many of us dream a doctor should be.

Of course it is not a perfect place as nothing is perfect in this life but the countryside possesses many facets that the often city crazed lunatic is missing out on. The city has its advantages but it often loses the plot on subjects such as fox hunting and other things in the country. Many a city slicker thinks they can understand the country based upon the odd weekend and dabbles in the NFU. However it is a different stronger healthier world in the country and I do plan to make it a huge part of my life.

I have rambled somewhat. These comments are not supposed to make any sense as they are opinion. My opinion. Not arrogance. Just opinion. So of course my opinion could well be wrong but it is still my opinion.

The above photograph is symbolic of the sheer peace that you get out here despite the usual strains that exist in the medical world. Many a city based doctor frowns upon rural medicine as a somewhat trash bin for those not big enough to make it in the city. Really? Out here rocks! Doctors get to do lots of numerous things out here and at the same time take a break to eat a biscuit in complete peace and quiet. That is priceless.

104 [Mothers Day]

It is Mothers Day. In the glorious country that I inhabit which is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland! I had a lot of things to put and share concerning Mothers Day. However my laptop has so frustrated me for the past two hours that any decent thought I did have somehow has been replaced by sheer annoyance towards this little but important contraption. So I am going to have to go away and have a think then come back.

105 Days [NHS]

This is a countdown. A Final countdown.

I am under the weather today. So the above photograph is appropriate. The NHS as many of you know is the National Health Service that this great nation possesses at its disposal. Right. I need some sleep and a lot of fluids and also some good old fashioned lemon and honey and some paracetamol.

Anyway this Photo Blog is going to be kick started once again. It has been a long long time since I was last on Flickr. Lots of things have happened.

President Kennedy

Below is a classic speech. Just been listening to "My Life" by The Game. Good tune! Made me think of this speech by my favourite US President.


"This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity to speak briefly to you about this mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one – no matter where he lives or what he does – can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr’s cause has ever been stilled by his assassin’s bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of the people.

Whenever any American’s life is taken by another American unnecessarily – whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence – whenever we tear at the fabric of life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

"Among free men,” said Abraham Lincoln, “there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lose their cause and pay the costs.”

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and the wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach nonviolence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some looks for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear; violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleaning of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is a slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man’s spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all. I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we known what must be done. “When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies – to be met not with cooperation but with conquest, to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our bothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community, men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear – only a common desire to retreat from each other – only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is now what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of human purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of all. We must admit in ourselves that our own children’s future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember – even if only for a time – that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short movement of life, that they seek – as we do – nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our hearts brothers and countrymen once again."

Robert F. Kennedy - April 5, 196